Do you feel it?
Self-love. We hear those two words all the time. It’s something that we’re all supposed to feel, isn’t it? We’ve all read countless self-help books and attended multiple workshops telling us it’s what we must feel before we can accept or let love in. Many of us may feel that it’s something we should have learned to have as a child and are sometimes confused as to why it seems to be missing in our lives. What is self-love really? What does it mean and how are we supposed to express it or show the world that we feel it?
Let me take a few steps back.
This all started about a month ago when I began writing a blog on FEAR and how to overcome it. This country appears to be covered in fear and every one seems to be talking about it. Every newsletter that I received in my email, from authors and public figures that I admire, were written about FEAR. I chose not to read them and decided to set the blog that I had written aside. Since I am such a believer that what we give our attention, energy and focus to is what we attract to ourselves, it simply didn’t feel right to put yet another newsletter out into the universe about fear, even if it was about how to release it. Instead, the word love popped into my mind. It was perfect because I had now missed my opportunity to do a January newsletter and we had moved into the month of February – the month of love. Since we can’t have love without it, what better time to explore self-love?
A few weeks later, I was meeting a friend of mine for lunch. She is a beautiful woman with a heart of gold and an incredibly gifted artist. I received an email from her asking me to pick a word of something I want to manifest more of in my life. I was surprised that the first word that popped in my head was LOVE. Not trusting my initial gut, I thought for a second and the word abundance popped into my head. I let both words sit for a minute and although I was drawn back to the word love, something still didn’t feel quite right. There was more to it, I thought, not having any idea what my friend would do with this word but feeling that it was important, I wanted it to feel right. It only took a few more seconds and self-love popped into my head. Yep! That was it! SELF-LOVE! Who can’t use more of that?!
In the enclosed photograph, you can see the beautiful gift that I received with my chosen word on it, a key chain made from vintage spoons. I love it so much and appreciate the daily reminder that it gives me to love myself first and foremost.
Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to love myself first and foremost? How selfish and self-absorbed can I be?
YES! In order to heal this planet, I truly believe that it has to begin with me. It begins with me loving and accepting myself just the way that I am, so that I can then in turn do the same to others. It was self-love that allowed me to be forgiving of myself that I never completed and sent out the blog I had mostly written on fear and instead loved myself for honoring that it simply didn’t feel right. It is self-love that allowed me to let go of the need to get out a January newsletter. It is self-love and acceptance that helps me to feel confident about myself and not take things personally when someone else is in a bad mood around me.
Louise Hay defines self-love as the process of loving the self and believes that no matter what the problem is, the main thing we need to work on is self-love. Louise describes self-love as the “magic wand” that dissolves problems. In order for us to love ourselves, we have to be accepting and approving of ourselves, which means that we must stop criticizing ourselves. Stop the criticism completely! In order to do this, we have to learn to ignore the old chatter of negative thoughts that we’ve trained our mind to have. Instead, we must choose to ignore those thoughts and to begin to affirm loving thoughts to ourselves. There are some wonderful release exercises in Louise’s book listed below that can help you with this process. You may find that necessary in order to feel the full affect of the affirmations. My favorite affirmation to begin this process, which I learned almost 30 years ago by reading Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life is “I love and approve of myself exactly as I am.”
I could go on an on about this topic – there is so much more to share, but for now, are you willing to give it a try? If you really want to challenge yourself, look in the mirror while saying the above affirmation. If you find yourself having a difficult time looking in your eyes, be patient with yourself and try again every day. If you’re struggling to say the affirmation, try saying “I am willing to love and approve of myself exactly as I am.”
I am a continuous work in progress. I no longer beat myself up about not meeting a deadline or for eating one bite too many. I no longer beat myself up for not getting my walk in but instead acknowledge all that I did get accomplished and that I was able to do yoga if nothing else. I consciously work to be kind and loving with myself because I realize that when I was “perfect” in appearances, I didn’t love myself at all. I was never good enough. I can say without a doubt that I love myself exactly as I am and do so quite often while looking in the mirror. Try it and notice the changes to begin in your life.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Rick and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary today as we remember getting married at Rupert’s in Atlanta with STAR 94 radio station and Steve and Vikki. If you’re feeling alone this Valentine’s Day, begin with doing something kind and loving for yourself. Release the negative talk and look into the mirror and affirm:
I love and approve of myself exactly as I am!
Remember that love rarely comes when we are looking for it but usually when we least expect it. Why not prepare yourself to receive the love by first being loving to yourself. Be loving and you will be lovable. What we put out is what we get back!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Sharing the love and light, Caroline
Find me on Instagram @carolinemedium and/or like my Facebook page for more daily inspiration!
#sharingloveandlight #Dailyposts #Medium #Selflove #Intuitive #HealYourLifeCoach #LouiseHay #HealYourLifeWorkshopLeader